The First Ten Years...

The first ten years…

As of this Thursday my oldest son Jonah is now ten years old. A whole decade! I used to get tired of my parents and older relatives warning me to “Watch out! It goes by so fast!” But they were right. It feels like I blinked and all of a sudden he turned from this ghost-like blob on the sonogram into this blond haired, brown eyed fourth grader almost as tall as his mother surfing the internet and even in the ocean too!

If you know me, or have read this blog before, you might remember that Jonah has autism. As challenging and daunting as that has been for us, it truly has been balanced out by how wonderful and amazing a person he is. Sure he has trouble communicating with language, but so do most “typical” people I’ve met. And that’s including me as well! It’s amazing how with just a small shift of his head’s position or a raised eyebrow, he can let everyone know if he’s happy or sad.

I could go on more about the difficulties of raising special needs children, but I’d rather speak to the beauty of the life that they give me. Both of my boys are the bright spots of my world. They are happy, friendly and incredibly genuine. I wish I could take credit for that, but I have to give it where it is due, their Mom.

When Jonah was little we began to notice how he would rather play by himself than with other people. The only one he would allow to join him or actually try to play with sometimes was his little brother Gabriel. In a way, this was a great thing for us. As parents we have always wanted our boys to be close, and they really are. As Gabriel grew old enough to recognize his older brother was a little different than most other folks, he started looking out for Jonah and protecting him. I saw him do it on the playground once and was completely blown away. A few bigger kids were starting to pick on Jonah because he wouldn’t answer or even react when they yelled at him. I was about to go step in when this my little six year old red headed kid walks over and says, “Hey! That’s my brother. Leave him alone or you’ll be in trouble!” They all looked shocked for a moment, then started laughing and brought both Jonah and Gabey into their game. We didn’t ask him to do that. He just loves his brother.

Jonah loves to watch videos. It’s his favorite thing in the world! Youtube is his Nirvana. He knows how to navigate through that site at light speed to find what he wants to watch. He loves Disney movies and Star Wars, but his all time fave is the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I sing him to sleep at night with “Pure Imagination” and “I’ve Got a Golden Ticket”. Believe me when I tell you that singing these two boys to sleep is the greatest thing I get to do every single day.

A few years ago Jonah had climbed into our bed at some point in the middle of the night. Come morning time I had gotten up already, but he and Melissa were still asleep. The alarm went off and Melissa turned over to wake up Jonah when he opened his eyes and said, “And now our feature presentation!” Honestly, can you really think of a better phrase to start the day?

Since the move to New England, Jonah has been doing great at school. All the kids in his class love him. This week they put on their annual Harvest Festival where the fifth graders play Pilgrims and the fourth graders play Indians. Since Jonah’s class is the Indians, they all got to choose their Indian names for the festival. At the end of the selection process, they all started shouting to their teacher, “What about Jonah? He needs a name too!” So she asked the class what they thought his name should be. Now at the end of every day the class sits or lay down on the rug to read and wind down a little bit. Apparently when they do this, Jonah rolls around tickling everyone’s feet and laughing up a storm! Sometimes Melissa will put gel in his hair and spike it up before he goes to school, and all the kids love that too. So they gave him his Indian name. Jonah is now known as Playful Porcupine.

I meet a lot of new people with kids who tell me, “We don’t know how you do it. It must be so hard.” To be honest, sometimes it is hard. But I don’t know anything else. Raising typical kids looks harder to me. All that really matters is that these are my kids and I love them no matter what. Every day I learn more about patience and clarity. Not that I am the most patient person in the world, nor the most clear all the time, but practice makes perfect right?

The first ten years with him have had their ups and downs, much like any parent and child I would imagine. Our life really isn’t too far removed from a “typical” family. We’re pretty “typical” too actually. I hear stories from friends and relatives with kids and their day to day struggles. They may be about slightly different things, but they are all really the same. Just trying to give as much love and support as possible and help them to have the happiest and most productive life that’s possible. Jonah is a loving, affectionate and happy kid. I am so fortunate that I get to spend the rest of my life watching him grow into a loving, affectionate and happy man.

When I was younger I had rock star dreams and ambitions to fame and fortune. I say, “I love you Jonah” and he looks back at me and with a smile on his face says, “So much!” I know that am as famous as I’ll ever need to be.

Happy 10th Birthday Jonah! Here’s to the next ten!

( Here's a link to download a song that I wrote for my big guy's 10th!!! http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CYDR2O1M Hope you enjoy it.)

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A different kind of Odysey

Last night was Halloween. A night for lost spirits and ghosts to try to find their way back home. A fitting night to listen to “Penelope”, the new album by Sarah Kirkland Snider. Co-written by playwright Ellen McLaughlin, this haunting song cycle tells the story of a man coming home from an unnamed war after twenty years to find his wife still waiting for him. He is a shell of his former self with no memory of life before his traumas other than the structure of his old house.

With beautiful and disturbing instrumentation providing the background, Penelope, gorgeously voiced by Shara Worden from My Brightest Diamond, reads the text of Homer’s “The Odyssey” in an attempt to bring her “Odysseus” back to her. It is a heart wrenching story that unfortunately is very fitting with the times we live in today.

Brad Lubman conducts the fantastic modern chamber ensemble Signal from New York who performs the score. With semi-traditional strings and harp aided by guitars, electric bass, drums and computer programming “Penelope” is rich with challenging texture that evolves and from eerie whispers to rushes of tidal wave like explosions. Worden’s voice drifts gently over the top of this brewing storm much like Odysseus’ ship lost at sea.

After the trick or treaters had long gone to bed last night, I lay in bed with headphones on and eyes closed lost inside of Snider’s melancholy world. Strange dreams of creaky old Victorian houses and faded white dressing gowns whipping through storm blown windows slowly crept along the inside of my eyelids as I listened. I was struck by the raw emotions brought to the surface in this music’s plaintive beauty.

“Penelope” is not something I would consider listening to every day, but it is important and vital listening. It is a powerful story told in a unique and thoughtful manner that pulls no emotional punches. Taking a fresh turn on Homer’s enduring story, the core of the tale is the strength and unflinching resolve of true love. That willingness to fight through whatever horrors cut and scar and let love persevere and triumph. Though it may not leave you unchanged, it is indeed a beautiful thing.

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